Dessert First

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A Breath, and Then A Step Forward

by 44 Comments

Weddingshoes

Dear readers,

This is it…two days from now I'll be walking down the aisle, and I'll officially become Mrs. Pastrygirl. Or I suppose you can call my fiance Mr. Pastrygirl from now on!

I'll be away from Dessert First for the next couple of weeks – we're not going on honeymoon just yet, but we will be taking some time off to, well, just be married! If you send me any e-mails, I hope you'll bear with me until I come back!

When I was looking through readings we might want to use for our ceremony, I came across this piece by Robert Fulghum. We ended up not choosing it, but it resonated with me all the same:

"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks – all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will”- those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe”- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “ You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife."

Surely, as one of the most popular subjects of the written word, marriage has received more than its fair share of paeans, acclamations, and criticism as well. I felt a little silly composing this post, well aware that I am not the first person in the universe to fall in love and get married! But, as they say, reading and knowing is different from the actual experience. As the week of preparations winds down, imbued with an ever-fluctuating stream of happiness, nostalgia, anticipation, joy, and melancholy, I find myself thinking not just of my own wedding, but of all the other unions that have happened before, and will happen in the future. When I get married on Sunday, I'll be partaking in a shared human experience. It's hard to explain but it makes me feel small yet exultant at the same time, like walking into a church with the light falling just so through stained-glass windows, or watching fireworks unfurl in a deep cobalt sky, or being part of a joyous crowd at a concert. You know you are participating in something bigger than you, adding your own thread to the tapestry of human emotion.

An already-married friend told me, "When you turn around after getting married to walk out, wait for a few moments and take a look to remember everyone who came to share in this with you. Everyone looks so happy for you…it's the most wonderful thing." The same happiness that has resonated at every wedding in history, that universe-affirming joy – the moments that remind us why we're all here on earth.

It's my turn. I can't wait, and I thank you all for sharing in this with me.

I'll see you on the other side.

Filed Under: Personal

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Comments

  1. 1

    Amy Sherman says

    Weddings go so fast. Blink and it’s over. Try to pay attention to every detail so it will last you a lifetime. Wishing you much happiness!

    Reply
  2. 2

    sam says

    I am so excited for you both – may your day and everything that comes after it be wonderful for both of you, together.

    Reply
  3. 3

    Jen Yu says

    Ooooh yay!!! Congratulations to both of you. You and M make such a beautiful and sweet couple. I’m so privileged to call you my friends… even more privileged to rejoice in your happiness together. All the best wishes for a lifetime of double happiness. Much love to you both. xoxo

    Reply
  4. 4

    Collette says

    Have a marvelous, wonderful time! And I love your description of the shared experience. Just remember to breathe deeply and enjoy!

    Reply
  7. 7

    Anh says

    Anita, CONGRATS!! This is great news!!

    Perhaps I should choose something GREAT from your books to bake and celebrate. Mrs Pastrygirl, I wish you and your husband all the happiness in the world 🙂

    Reply
  8. 8

    Caitlin says

    Heartfelt congratulations, excitement, and happiness for you, Anita. Such an exciting time, I’m so glad you’re taking time off to truly experience it. xxoo

    Reply
  10. 10

    Belinda @zomppa says

    Congratulations to you, and many, many blessings for a happy life full of good food and laughter! Enjoy your wedding and all that comes thereafter. =)

    Reply
  11. 11

    Hedonia says

    Mazel tov, and may you have many, many years of wedded bliss together. I bestow a glimmer of our 18 years upon you. Have fun just, well, being married these next couple of weeks.

    Reply
  12. 12

    Hedonia says

    Mazel tov, and may you have many years of wedded bliss. I bestow a glimmer of our 18 years upon you. Have fun just, well, being married these next couple weeks.

    Reply
  13. 13

    DeAnn says

    Beautifully said! Congratulations, may it be a joyous day, and all go smoothly!

    Reply
  16. 16

    Katie says

    Aww, so many congratulation to you guys! I know you guys will have as much fun (and equally delicious times) post-wedding as you’ve had before, if not more so! :o)

    Reply
  17. 17

    sreelu says

    wishing you a world filled with love and happiness. May you always feel this love for the rest of your life.

    Reply
  18. 18

    Window On The Prairie says

    Congrats. My husband and I married almost 2 years ago. Try to savor each moment of the day. Enjoy and relax. If we had it to do over again, there would be less photos and more time with guests. And don’t worry, everything will come together, and work out just fine.
    Suzanne

    Reply
  19. 19

    robin says

    ok I’ve never posted before, but those shoes are insanely adorable. CONGRATS to you BOTH!!!

    Reply
  27. 27

    Ernilda V. says

    Oh, so beautiful indeed!…..Thank you for sharing.
    My heartfelt congratulations, Mr.& Mrs.Pastrygirl!

    Reply
  36. 36

    jyoh says

    congratulations! your blog has been an inspiration since the day i started mine nearly 3 years ago.

    share pictures. please?

    Reply
  40. 40

    Ellie says

    Congratulations to both of you! Try to really live in the moment during the wedding because you won’t remember it afterward. My husband swore that a friend of ours didn’t come to the wedding after she promised she would come and a month later when we watched the video, there he was, talking to her at the wedding!!

    Reply
  42. 42

    Monica Ryl says

    Oh wow! How exciting 😀
    Congratulations… I wish you both the very best and I can’t wait to hear and see all about it!

    Reply

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